I was a lonely stone in your beaten path,
You kicked me across the pond for the win,
I thought I lost the vessel I was living in,
Now I am the rock in which you rock me in your arms tonight,
Give me more this time,
Spin me around again,
Like this frilly dress I’m wearin’,
Make me feel dizzy and disoriented,
Show me the ground again,
It’s always where we first annointed,
I sire the fire
pressed against another,
You hear it beckoning?
It’s the flame’s light that reminds me of you,
Toss me out of rock bottom again…
I thought you were my friend.”
Don’t love so easily and so intensely too soon. Embrace who you are and all the mistakes you have made, as well as the ones you will make, because those things aren’t your downfall. They will build your resilience and make you a much stronger person. It is okay that you’re hypersensitive, because someday, you’ll realize that that is your superpower. You will have the power to sense how people are feeling, heal them, relate to them, and to be able to steer them away from negativity. It is okay that some people won’t cooperate. They simply just aren’t ready yet. Everyone is walking their own path. Don’t force others to see things the way you do. Don’t make people stay in your life if they don’t want to. You may even have to let go of the ones closest to you in order to live a happy life. You are safe. You are loved. You are wise.
The One-Eyed Angel
“I would pin you down
like a father does
and have my way with you
whether you like it or not,
and I’m not going to stop
until I’m empty inside.”
I can’t see the landscape anymore.
It’s all obscured in my grief.
You have Jesus on your breath,
And He dances in my lies.
Pink serpents brawl to the death,
A sensation so divine.
Lovely intermission of a loner’s descent.
You have faith that I’m giving you what you want,
A faith misplaced keeping this addiction satisfied,
I pull away to prevent
Sin to be committed
On these many acres of longing.
To spare you a visit to the landscape,
Trekking through mountains of tenderness,
This drunken stupor in the Garden
Is not enough to not care,
To not make you tainted
By the landscape I painted.
I caress my face,
But I feel your hand.
I whisper sweet nothings into the air,
Into your ear
I crouch like a lioness
Bracing myself for the fear
This loneliness forced me into a corner
Forced me to love myself better
Did you wish you were never born,
Swallowed before life insisted on you?
Did you not get enough attention growing up,
So you refused that right from others?
Did you stare into his eyes
As he fed you his nonexistent children?
Or did you close your eyes the whole time
Consuming the undead while basking in your dark paradise?
Did you think depriving these children of their lives
Saved them from their demise?
Did Utilitarianism ever cross your mind
When you sucked him dry?
Did you know that he had a fatal disease
That was carried onto you?
Did you mean to sacrifice your life
For the sake of the children?
A celestial prison
In the suffering
Of our own creation
Did God create us?
Or did we create the idea of Him?
When lust turns to dust
and you realize
just how big the Void is
that you’re trying so hard to fill.
Did God create the Void?
Or did the Void give birth to God?
Dear Power Vamp,
At this point in my life, the memory of you is a mere fleeting thought of something that once pained me so. I used to refer to you as a god, but now, I realize you are nothing more than a power vampire. You survive off of siphoning positive energy from good and trusting people. You cannot produce your own positive energy which is needed to live a happy life. By that logic, you needed me, or my kind, rather, not the other way around. And for that, I feel sorry for you.
The One Who Got Away
“I have thwarted off evil many time before,
And I can’t build bridges from shore to shore,
I’m afraid we can’t see each other anymore,
I know you’re sorry but it’s either walls or a door,”
The memory of his words unearths my grave,
Setting free my tears that my heart has caged,
Like a ghost in the sheets,
A gaping mouth thrashing about in the night,
A force that must be contained,
Unruly is this juggernaut’s plight,
Present beyond life,
Beyond any means of control,
Persistent to alleviate some unfinished business,
Please reassure me that I’m not crazy.
The voices in my head will agree with you.
For my Ethics course in college, my professor assigned me a few questions to answer before Valentine’s Day. The questions were: What is love? What is the nature of love? How do you know when you are in love? The following is my response:
I think love, at least romantic love, is underlined by reciprocation and compatibility. It’s a give and take. There’s a mutual understanding that both parties are human and desire many things including companionship, but it also opens one’s eyes to seeing that no one’s perfect. It’s the imperfections that we relate to and can empathize with. “Through sickness and health until death do you part…” It’s the highs and lows that any human relationship worth enduring and working on with the exception that many more emotional, physical, and mental boundaries are surpassed through time. Romantic love is the long-lasting effect after infatuation ends. It’s when the other person isn’t merely a flawless being you’re attracted to, but a vulnerable, flawed person you can share all your pain and joy with. The nature of love seems to be… natural. It happens automatically and then slowly as time goes by. The infatuation is just a way to be drawn in. When that ends and the mask comes off, it’s both parties’ choice to decide whether or not the flaws revealed are worth accepting. I know I’m in love with someone when I put their needs ahead of my own, when I think about them the moment I wake up all the way until the last thought of the day before slumber takes over me, when I am considerate of their feelings before I do or say anything whether they are around or not, when trust and respect becomes effortless to give and receive, when patience is easy to maintain whereas before it wasn’t, and when physical attraction is a pleasant preliminary to what lies within their very being.
You think I did a good job answering those questions? Are the questions assigned to me objective or subjective? Please comment your opinions below. Thank you for reading, my lovely fallen angels! Over and out.