Unscripted I

They say ignorance is bliss,

And yet,

It is this lack of knowledge that is preventing me from fully living my life,

If it’s not one thing,

It’s the next,

Isn’t it?

That’s life,

Right?

I lie here on the ground as I peer ahead,

Not too far away,

Daunting tasks that leave me overwhelmed and drained,

And unable to even indulge in my own passions and splendor,

It just seems…

It just seems like there’s so much hate in this world,

So much depression,

So much pain,

So much pain –

in its many forms,

And how can something so dreadful stem from something that’s supposed to be so beautiful,

Perhaps that’s why Poseidon said that Eros is the most feared being in mankind,

This arrow struck me,

It’s still inside me,

This arrow leaves me immobile…

Leaves me paralyzed on this ground,

Got me right in my spine,

Unable to move…

Forward,

Unable to move at all,

And whatever progress I seem to make is nothing…

Everyone is busy doing something…

Everyone is busy…

Everyone is busy,

Too busy for me,

And all I can do is lay here,

Taking a short break from…

This overwhelming,

Daunting,

Long list of tasks I must endure,

Who else will hurt me?

What else will hurt me?

I don’t know what to do,

Just moments ago,

I felt as if I was in that moment,

I felt my heart ripped to shreds,

My mind in desperate search for memories,

To answer any fallible questions I can come up with,

Any at all,

And what is there to do,

Huh?

You pay bills,

Go to work,

Go to school for a career,

This loneliness is baffling,

I claim loneliness isn’t real,

But it seems to be the only thing that is,

It seems all I do is wait,

Waiting for something or someone or a miracle,

Perhaps?

My God,

I want to believe in God,

I want so desperately to believe in God,

I am so sorry for ever doubting you,

But nothing can save me now,

No one can save me now,

But I love it when they try,

Oh I love it so…

Because that period doesn’t last forever,

Eventually they give up,

They walk away because my misery reminds them of their own miseries that they claim they have conquered but have just repressed,

I see myself in everyone I come across,

They probably see me in themselves as well,

Because what are we but reflections of something far greater,

We experience love and heartbreak,

And abandonment,

And abuse,

And pain,

And grief,

Sadness,

Loneliness,

Despair,

Loss,

Contention in dissonance,

Retribution through revenge,

We are such fallible beings,

Aren’t we?

Such beautiful,

Fallible beings…

 

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4 comments

  1. topoet · September 27

    waiting for …. a miracle? Look in the mirror – you are a miracle of divine design.

    Liked by 3 people

  2. Stephen Blackwood · October 5

    I totally get, how you must have felt while writing this. That feeling… Eating you from inside.. I can totally relate with this.

    Liked by 1 person

    • The One-Eyed Angel · October 5

      That feeling was exactly what I was trying to convey. I’m so glad you can relate. It’s good to know I’m not alone, at least in this regard. Thank you so much for reading and commenting! πŸ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

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