A Short Sabbatical

Hello to my living fallen angels! I got discharged from a psych ward for the millionth time the other day. I tried to commit suicide once again. I overdosed last week and I was sure that I would finally die this time around because I took a lot of pills and chased them down with some cough syrup. I’m very disappointed that I survived but I know there’s a small part of me that is glad I did. If I honestly 100% wanted to die, then I could jump in front of a train or jump off a certain 11-floor building… It turns out that I kinda wanna live. I was overdue for a vacation and my local psych ward was just the place to unwind and heal from the stressors that make up the majority of my existence. I made a lot of great friends at the hospital. It seems like the mental health system is where I make all my friends worth staying in touch with. I don’t have much in common with Normies (people who were never in the mental health system and are therefore deemed “normal”) so I tend not to establish friendships with them. I realize my light side is just as influential to my life as my dark side is. I have a lot going for me. I’m pursuing a career in Psychology through college. I work as a suicide hotline operator (ironic, isn’t it?) and that opens the door for joining Recovery University, where I can further indulge in my chosen field. I want to be a mental health psychologist. That way, I could still be in the ambience of the hospital without being a patient. Two distinct halves of me learned to balance in equilibrium. One being that “if I ever found out I had cancer, I honestly would feel relieved.” The other being that “we’re all human subjected to trials and tribulations and I can’t find it in me to hate or hold grudges against anyone.” Anyway, now I’m just trying to get back into the grooves and patterns of my everyday life again. I love you all, my fallen angels! We are doing the best we can! Have a wonderful day! Over and out.

Feel free to like and comment on this post and I will do the same for you. Also, please check out my eBook: http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B012BSPFCQ/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?qid=1452971409&sr=1-1&pi=AC_SX110_SY165_QL70&keywords=The+Pandemonium+Chronicles

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8 comments

  1. Drem · March 1, 2016

    they let you out after only a week for a full on suicide attempt OD!?!?!?!?! wtf

    Liked by 1 person

    • tpcsufian · March 1, 2016

      Yeah. Hospital stays nowadays are very short. They try to get you out as soon as possible. I wish I stayed a bit longer, tbh. That’s my second home lol.

      Like

      • Drem · March 1, 2016

        …. Not where I live unless it’s an insurance situation. For full on attempted suicides in the tri-state area it’s typically a minimum 3 week stay. (I would know.) If one performed an “at risk” i.e., not OD, no note, etc they will give u a week or so.

        Liked by 1 person

      • tpcsufian · March 1, 2016

        Hmm, maybe it’s different for each state. I assumed it was the same all throughout the country for some reason. LOL

        Like

      • Drem · March 1, 2016

        It’s not. And the hospitals want to cover their ass because once they let you out they may be liable if you turn around and immediately off yourself.

        Liked by 1 person

      • tpcsufian · March 2, 2016

        I guess that makes sense. It’s a very high risk business. And there’s so much that contributes to mental health institutions that are debatable as to whether or not their methods are ethical. Restraints, medications, etc. Those hospitals are constantly trying to find ways to make themselves look better too.

        Like

  2. nagwamalik · March 2, 2016

    loved every word!

    Liked by 1 person

    • tpcsufian · March 2, 2016

      Thanks! 😀

      Like

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