Completely disregard what I said in Monday, Tuesday, busy days! Wednesday, Thursday, busy days! I had a horrible day yesterday! I ran into my ex-fiance on the bus heading to work. I was on my phone playing with my apps when he walked on the bus and stood a few feet away. I felt like someone stabbed me in the chest. He glanced at me and said to himself, “oh shit!” and pretended he didn’t notice me as he sat near the front of the bus. Mind you, I saw this in my peripheral vision so he didn’t know I noticed him. So I put my phone away back into its holster and I just stared at the back of his shaved, oblong head. The bus had been packed until half the occupants got off on the same stop. My ex got up to change seats when he finally noticed I was staring at him. He tried to be nonchalant with a nod accompanied by a tiny grin. But he clearly didn’t want to talk to me. There was an empty seat nearby him and I wasn’t going to miss this opportunity. I hadn’t seen him in over a year prior so who knows when I was ever going to run into him again. I sat beside him and said: “Hey! How are you?”
He said, “Good.”
Me: “Me too.”
Him: “So I didn’t know you go by this side of town.”
Me: “Yeah, I work around here now. At Toivo.”
Him: “That’s only a few blocks away…”
Me: “So you still live on Park Street?”
Him: “I never lived there before.”
Me: “Oh… where do you live now?”
Him: “Maple Street -”
Then awkward silence consumed the following 30 seconds.
Me: “I wanted to thank you.”
Him: “For what?”
Me: “For everything.”
He smiled. I stroked a Narcissist’s ego, apparently.
My bus stop was coming up.
He began to drone on and on about how he’s trying to renew his license and to get a car.
I tuned him out at this point. He was just gonna talk about himself. I’m also trying to get my driver’s license and a car but I wasn’t gonna say much more.
I had nothing to prove to him and I no longer expected anything from him.
When my bus stop finally came, I shook his hand and told him to have a great day before I departed.
Once I arrived at my job, I broke down but luckily my co-workers are some of my best friends and they supported me. I talked it out. They assured me I handled it very well and that I’m a strong, resilient person. We shared anecdotes and then we resumed our work. Surprisingly, I felt a lot better afterward. I was able to do everything I had to do yesterday. I even slept a full eight hours when I got home. Maybe that was the closure I needed. Maybe I’m finally over him.
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