Vulnerable Moments

Hello to my guarded fallen angels! Today was Christmas Day so instead of indulging in my self-pity, like I usually do, I decided to get out the house to hang out with some other young adults in DMHAS. The other clients are fake af. I don’t trust them at all. So the day started off with lunch at Home Town Buffet. I’m friendly with the girls like most gay men are but they were very odd today. It was the usual me-pretending-to-hit-on-them-to-make-the-guys-jealous bit. Dumbing-myself-down-to-associate-with-my-age-group bit. There was this one girl who was pregnant with her Nth child saying she was gonna plot to destroy one of her baby daddies. Yeah… what good is gonna come out of that, am I right? Geez… Then this other girl kept saying things in explicit detail about giving birth while I was eating. I didn’t like that. Also, the guys were observing me for some reason. I felt like the main attraction, “The Lone Homo Exhibit” and shit… I’m the only gay man in the whole program so the other guys usually avoid me or laugh at my dark, humorous jokes. The girls started talking about sex which is a topic I can definitely relate to. I indirectly mentioned that I do one-night-stands with guys I don’t know, which is true. They made these weird faces, even the guys, when I joked about it. So we can talk about nasty straight sex but the second I mention gay sex, it’s weird. And I know for a fact those bitches are hoes too. Today was very weird. Then at one point, I say it’s better off being single and alone but this one guy who knows me a tiny bit better than everyone else, replies that I actually hate being alone. I really didn’t like that for some reason. They kept watching me eat and commenting on every gesture or small movement I did. I usually complain about feeling invisible but maybe invisibility is a blessing and not a curse. I act so arrogant and bitchy around my peers and I was so in that zone that I forgot my “purse” (it’s really just one of those bags with a drawstring) when we left to go to the movie theatre. I was in the middle of watching the latest Star Wars movie when I suddenly realized my “purse” wasn’t on me. I went into the lobby to call one of the staff members to ask if they knew where my “purse” was. They assured me that they found it and put it in their state vehicle for me to get after the movie. The thing is, we all dispersed to watch different movies so our movies ended at different times. The staff I spoke to on the phone before I finished watching The Force Awakens called me back 8 times in a two minute timespan while my phone was on silent. I returned her call but she said she couldn’t wait for me any longer so she left. WTF, right? So the other staff member I’m actually a lot closer to was still in the movie theatre and there were several issues that occurred around the same time. I eventually got my “purse” back but still… Weird days like this makes me very grateful that I have an uneventful, dramaless, lonely life after all. Have a wonderful day! Over and out.

Feel free to like or comment on this post. I will always reply back to comments! And please check out my eBook: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B012BSPFCQ/ref=cm_sw_r_fa_awdm_EgmSvb1FDR2EB Thanks for reading 🙂

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