New Year’s Resolutions 2016

Hello to my happy fallen angels! The new year is just around the corner! You all probably noticed a lot of other bloggers already posting their New Year’s resolutions. Perhaps you’ve done a post like this in the past couple days already or maybe I just gave you an idea for the topic of your next blog post. Whatever it may be, I’m happy to instill my season’s greetings upon you all.

New Year’s resolutions for 2016:

1. Join more clubs at my college
2. Read more books
3. Make new friends
4. Be less introverted
5. Continue going to the gym regularly
6. Study more often
7. Get my driver’s license
8. Buy my first car
9. Publish more books
10. Be more positive

So what are your New Year’s resolutions? I would love it if you shared them with me in a comment below. I love you all and I thank you for all the likes, comments, and follows I obtained in 2015! And it was a pleasure returning the favor too. Have a wonderful end of the year! Over and out.

Feel free to like or comment on this post. I will always reply back to comments! And please check out my eBook: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B012BSPFCQ/ref=cm_sw_r_fa_awdm_EgmSvb1FDR2EB Thanks for reading 🙂

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Getting Off

It was mid-April and the morning dew gleamed with promise.
I remember when you spun me in your arms like your offspring –
Yet we walked hand in hand playing alongside a dream we sing.
Your visions were seldom all they seemed as your presence was amiss.
You lived in a bleak future and a troublesome past void of bliss.
I preferred to live in the present where I accepted that Winter causes Spring.
Hardship brought you down while it brought me down on ashen knees to present you a ring.
Our locked eyes glistened as the sunset cast forth bright hues dissolving our subtle kiss.

At times you’d wander away from our sanctuary underneath the emerald canopy.
Foreign beauty led you astray beyond the precipice of where the water cascades.
Life insisted we aboard a rollercoaster ride but your love was only visible upon its zenith.
I ran after you once we got off until my heart heaved with shortness of breath.
I reached for your brawny hands with its bumpy veins protruding like blades.
In the land of gods and monsters I am now an angel clinging to the past and you are the master of inevitable death.

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Feel free to like or comment on this post. I will always reply back to comments! And please check out my eBook: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B012BSPFCQ/ref=cm_sw_r_fa_awdm_EgmSvb1FDR2EB Thanks for reading 🙂

My Sky

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I gaze up at the ceiling for the first time.
Eggshell white.
Cracks and dents.
A golden ceiling lamp –
So cold and unsure.
A brown ring using the lamp as a central focal point.
The ring only makes it one-fourth of the way around.
Amongst the peculiar wrinkles in time is a prominent indent striking through the lamp.
Looking like a white and gold eyepatch.
My eyes try to avoid the more dominant features of my sky.
Yet wiggly lines are brought into existence only viewed through peripheral vision.
Creating a magical land full of intangible colors and mystery just out of my reach.
Sunlight spills in through the blinds to cover me in black and white stripes.
Prisoner beneath my sky.
Gazing at a magical land full of intangible colors and mystery just out of my reach.

Feel free to like or comment on this post. I will always reply back to comments! And please check out my eBook: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B012BSPFCQ/ref=cm_sw_r_fa_awdm_EgmSvb1FDR2EB Thanks for reading 🙂

Vulnerable Moments

Hello to my guarded fallen angels! Today was Christmas Day so instead of indulging in my self-pity, like I usually do, I decided to get out the house to hang out with some other young adults in DMHAS. The other clients are fake af. I don’t trust them at all. So the day started off with lunch at Home Town Buffet. I’m friendly with the girls like most gay men are but they were very odd today. It was the usual me-pretending-to-hit-on-them-to-make-the-guys-jealous bit. Dumbing-myself-down-to-associate-with-my-age-group bit. There was this one girl who was pregnant with her Nth child saying she was gonna plot to destroy one of her baby daddies. Yeah… what good is gonna come out of that, am I right? Geez… Then this other girl kept saying things in explicit detail about giving birth while I was eating. I didn’t like that. Also, the guys were observing me for some reason. I felt like the main attraction, “The Lone Homo Exhibit” and shit… I’m the only gay man in the whole program so the other guys usually avoid me or laugh at my dark, humorous jokes. The girls started talking about sex which is a topic I can definitely relate to. I indirectly mentioned that I do one-night-stands with guys I don’t know, which is true. They made these weird faces, even the guys, when I joked about it. So we can talk about nasty straight sex but the second I mention gay sex, it’s weird. And I know for a fact those bitches are hoes too. Today was very weird. Then at one point, I say it’s better off being single and alone but this one guy who knows me a tiny bit better than everyone else, replies that I actually hate being alone. I really didn’t like that for some reason. They kept watching me eat and commenting on every gesture or small movement I did. I usually complain about feeling invisible but maybe invisibility is a blessing and not a curse. I act so arrogant and bitchy around my peers and I was so in that zone that I forgot my “purse” (it’s really just one of those bags with a drawstring) when we left to go to the movie theatre. I was in the middle of watching the latest Star Wars movie when I suddenly realized my “purse” wasn’t on me. I went into the lobby to call one of the staff members to ask if they knew where my “purse” was. They assured me that they found it and put it in their state vehicle for me to get after the movie. The thing is, we all dispersed to watch different movies so our movies ended at different times. The staff I spoke to on the phone before I finished watching The Force Awakens called me back 8 times in a two minute timespan while my phone was on silent. I returned her call but she said she couldn’t wait for me any longer so she left. WTF, right? So the other staff member I’m actually a lot closer to was still in the movie theatre and there were several issues that occurred around the same time. I eventually got my “purse” back but still… Weird days like this makes me very grateful that I have an uneventful, dramaless, lonely life after all. Have a wonderful day! Over and out.

Feel free to like or comment on this post. I will always reply back to comments! And please check out my eBook: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B012BSPFCQ/ref=cm_sw_r_fa_awdm_EgmSvb1FDR2EB Thanks for reading 🙂

Truth Serum

When I was 6,

I wished I was a newborn,

When all I worried about was eating, sleeping,

And excreting waste,

 

When I was 10,

I wished I was 6,

When all I was afraid of was going to grade school for the first time

And missing my mom until I returned home,

 

When I was 14,

I wished I was 10,

When all I thought about were the terrifying times I spent alone with my stepdad

And missing my mom until she returned home,

 

When I was 18,

I wished I was 14,

When all I reminisced about was how I secretly enjoyed being abused like a masochist

And missing the only sexual escapade I had throughout my school years,

 

When I was 21,

I wished I was 18,

When I was forced to be exiled because my mom thought my dad’s replacement made me gay

And hoping there was more to life than this,

 

When I am 30,

I will wish I was 21,

When all I can recall will be how my ex-fiance severely broke my heart

And how he wonderfully psychologically tormented me,

 

When I am 39,

I will wish I was 30,

When I’ll realize that I am the same age as when my first love left in peace

And left me in pieces,

 

When I am 50,

I will wish I was 39,

When I can remember fondly how agile and resilient I once was

And wondering how I didn’t kill myself a lot sooner

 

When I am 69,

I will not look back anymore,

For dementia will consume my mind’s occupancy leaving behind the fact that my age will be one of my favorite sexual positions

And in total relief that I will die any day now

 

 

 

 

*Make sure to take advantage of the eBook sale going on now! From now* until December 26th at 8:00PM, you can buy The Pandemonium Chronicles for only $0.99! (usually $2.99)

http://www.amazon.com/Pandemonium-Chronicles-Merge-between-Heaven-ebook/dp/B012BSPFCQ/ref=sr_1_1_twi_kin_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1450883498&sr=8-1&keywords=The+Pandemonium+Chronicles

This sale is to celebrate the release of my new book, Trials and Tribulations!

http://www.amazon.com/Trials-Tribulations-Sufian-ebook/dp/B018ZR0IVA/ref=sr_1_43?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1450883658&sr=1-43&keywords=Trials+and+Tribulations

A Friendly Reminder

Hello to my patient fallen angels! From December 21 at 8:00AM until December 26 at 8:00PM (Eastern Time Zone), you can buy The Pandemonium Chronicles for only 99 cents on Amazon Kindle! It’s usually $2.99 so check it out now! http://www.amazon.com/Pandemonium-Chronicles-Merge-between-Heaven-ebook/dp/B012BSPFCQ/ref=sr_1_1_twi_kin_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1449171337&sr=8-1&keywords=the+pandemonium+chronicles

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First Book

Also, I published my second book but it’s not a sequel to The Pandemonium Chronicles. Rather, it’s a book of poetry composed entirely of my favorite poems from my official blog! I tried picking the best entries from my archives to be included in my new book, Trials and Tribulations! http://www.amazon.com/Trials-Tribulations-Sufian-ebook/dp/B018ZR0IVA/ref=sr_1_9?ie=UTF8&qid=1449593150&sr=8-9&keywords=trials+and+tribulations

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The countdown is located at the bottom right-hand corner of my blog. Anyway, the purpose of this friendly reminder is to ensure my fallen angels to be well aware of the existence of my Trials and Tribulations. Delve into my mind and you may very well lose your mind too. Have a wonderful day! Over and out.

Feel free to like or comment on this post. I will always reply back to comments! Thanks for reading 🙂

Spring Smiles

We share a smile.
Not flirtatious;
Not grim;
But a genuine smile.
He strums happy tunes on his grand guitar.
I don’t have much money but I still manage to drop some shiny silver coins into his fedora placed neatly on the ground.
I nod a silent hello while never deviating from my course of routine.
Nice Spring days are perfect for his business.
However, sometimes someone gives him a hard time.
I calm the situation to have them go their separate ways.
He thanks me with a nod.
But I am so glad he is okay that I give him a warm hug instead.
He’s caught off-guard at first until he smiles as he hugs me back.
I barely sleep these days.
The rain is pouring heavily outside.
I don’t have to leave the house today yet I grab my umbrella and head out the door.
I am going to finally introduce myself to my best friend.

Feel free to like or comment on this post. I will always reply back to comments! And please check out my eBook: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B012BSPFCQ/ref=cm_sw_r_fa_awdm_EgmSvb1FDR2EB Thanks for reading 🙂

Kill Me With Kindness

Force me down,
Forge coal into sparkling diamonds,
For only the dead sees the end of a war,

Loaded weapons weigh me down,
Perhaps some wars are fought at home,
It would be an honor to surrender to you,

Longing my drafted patriarch brings me down,
MIA with your impossible mission,
While I endure another hero’s sweetest submission,

Your small soldier no longer bends me down,
I’m reborn at every moment,
Who knows who I’ll become hostage to next,

Your valiant service takes me down,
Shoot me international calls spontaneous,
And kill me with kindness

Feel free to like or comment on this post. I will always reply back to comments! And please check out my eBook: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B012BSPFCQ/ref=cm_sw_r_fa_awdm_EgmSvb1FDR2EB Thanks for reading 🙂

Body and Blood

I uttered a hushed prayer,
But it was much louder long ago,
A pool of tears in my palms I gather,
Leaving no room for a martyr’s body to go,

Desperately clinging onto grains of sand,
But time forces me down to brace myself for the flood,
The large boat only transports pairs to a new land,
Now I can’t live without a savior’s blood

Feel free to like or comment on this post. I will always reply back to comments! And please check out my eBook: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B012BSPFCQ/ref=cm_sw_r_fa_awdm_EgmSvb1FDR2EB Thanks for reading 🙂

TEDx Talks

Hello to my knowledge-hungry fallen angels! Loneliness is a state of mind not a state of matter. You can surround yourself with so many people and still feel absolutely alone. Check out this video in the TEDx Talks series on YouTube. There are many videos in this channel, including “how to live a good life” and “the philosophy behind romantic love.” I highly recommend looking into all the other TEDx Talks videos on YouTube too.

Feel free to like or comment on this post. I will always reply back to comments! And please check out my eBook: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B012BSPFCQ/ref=cm_sw_r_fa_awdm_EgmSvb1FDR2EB Thanks for reading 🙂