Hello to my faithful fallen angels! Let’s climb aboard for another one of The One-Eyed Angel’s check-ins, shall we? There were a select group of friends I would text every single morning. I felt like I was doing all the work after a while. So I stopped texting them first to see if they would reach out to me and I ultimately lost touch with them.
Honestly I think I’m losing touch with my brother too. He seems apathetic since he broke up with his ex-fiance. He had a kid with her but it doesn’t seem like he cares. So I try not take it personally. But I was on the receiving end of a lover’s apathy. Hence it’s nearly impossible to not empathize with his ex-fiance and the daughter he left behind. He’s a good brother and a good person to me, but he’s not inclined to maintain a family dynamic. I get it though. I think I would have done the same thing, to be honest. She was far from perfect herself. It can go either way when it concerns me.
It just sucks how hurt people tend to hurt people. Most people want to unload their burden onto someone else. Just because I have my shit together, people assume I’m always okay. But I’m human too. Not many of my friends are people I could confide in if I need support. They’re always busy or they’re in the company of someone more important. I think people are naturally selfish honestly. It takes strength and compassion to care about someone other than yourself.
Aside from my psychological perplexity, my vessel is in need of repair. I have been taking pain killers every single day for years due to chronic neck and back problems. The diplopia isn’t quite a pleasant experience either. I hope there’s a solution to my physical anomalies. As of this point in my life, every problem has been solved or in the process of being solved. So my faith resides forevermore in God.
But I get a bit cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs when I skip meditation and other spiritual practices. A visit to the spirit realm always cures my crazies. If I stop laughing, I’d be crying. So I laugh, pop pain killers, and practice abstinence to stay alive. Ode to joy!
Hope always find its way in. I have obtained a friendship with a neighbor I honestly didn’t think I would establish any kind of relationship with. My brother shows me that he still has a heart from time to time. I have known one of my best friends for several years now and she’s someone who actually has an aptitude to acknowledge how and why I am the way I am. Yet no matter how much I divulge myself to you all, I will forever remain a mystery. On that beautiful note, I wish you all a wonderful day! Over and out.
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