How do I control empathy?

Good morning, my fallen angels!  All my life, I felt different from everyone else. I thought maybe it was because I was gay. So I joined True Colors. But that didn’t help at all. I still felt like the black sheep. As a child, I was hypersensitive to all the evil and wrongdoing I sensed all around me. I would cry for hours when I watched the news. Then as I got older,  I began to sense if people in my life had good or evil intentions.  To this day I still become overwhelmingly paranoid. It breaks my heart to see someone upset and I can’t help them. Even complete strangers. I want to hug them or something but that’s not socially acceptable. I have had depression and suicidal ideation since I was 14. Now that I’m grown,  I was able to eventually get off my antidepressants and I haven’t been admitted to the psych ward in two years now. I was so young when this all began. I realize that there was no reason for me to feel so miserable at such a young age. That maybe it was because of my mom. She was morbidly depressed and overweight. She had no way of dealing with stress in a positive way.  My mother would gossip about my dad in front of me as a kid as well as put me down. She used to call me fat-ass, stupid, dumb “just like my father” (I hated when she said that), and my sister’s were in on it too. They called me the sick boy because I was in and out of in-patient care and had therapy and prescription medications starting from freshman year of high school.  I think I sensed their evil ways since I was born. And I had acquired their hopeless and malicious thought patterns. I believe in my heart that I am an empath but I need a spiritual leader or guide to help me to control my abilities. I am spiritually lost. I know I have a lot of potential in many aspects of my life. However as long as this world’s negativity envelops me in darkness, that potential i possess will be rendered forever. If anyone  can sincerely and genuinely show me the way to understanding, then please do so. There’s so much more to empathy than I know about. I hear that I must practice cleansing, grounding, and protection. But where do I begin? Thank you for always reading my posts and have a wonderful day, my brilliant fallen angels!  Over and out.

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14 comments

  1. Bunnet · May 28, 2015

    I ask how can we demand equality in a world, where women are still beaten and seen as lower. How can we demand equality, when children are abandon.
    I fully approve of gay marriage, of gay adoption. Because no other human being has the right to tell someone else how to love, who to love and beyond that children need love, they don’t care for two father or two mothers

    Liked by 1 person

    • tpcsufian · May 28, 2015

      Exactly! I explain that more in my post, prezi: marriage equality. It’s a hyperlink to a prezi presentation I did for my college success course.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Bunnet · May 28, 2015

        I would enjoy seeing that presentation

        Liked by 1 person

      • tpcsufian · May 28, 2015

        It’s in my archives. I think in april, last month.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Bunnet · May 28, 2015

        I try looking for it

        Liked by 1 person

      • tpcsufian · May 28, 2015

        Thank you so much for your interest in my blog. I am a published author. I sell my novel on the hyperlink “buy my first book” on my drop down menu. It comes in paperback and eBook formats. I hope you are having a wonderful day! 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      • Bunnet · May 28, 2015

        Oh no problem, I’ll seeing many blogs and who have personal books, and like to read them and see how self-made authors are

        Liked by 1 person

      • tpcsufian · May 28, 2015

        It’s difficult to promote when you self-publish. I try my best to spread the word. There are so many masterpieces that are underappreciated. That in itself is tragic.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Bunnet · May 30, 2015

        And there some very famous writers with some very little known books, who if you ask me are better than there classics

        Liked by 1 person

      • tpcsufian · May 30, 2015

        True! Like Divergent was not even that good tbh. Lol.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Bunnet · May 30, 2015

        Didn’t watch it

        Liked by 1 person

      • tpcsufian · May 30, 2015

        Me neither. The book wasnt even all that. Lol

        Like

  2. viscloset · June 1, 2015

    I could relate so much to this post. I was diagnosed with Cyclothymia a mood disorder. Also took prescription drugs. The paranoia is there and the urge to practically not hurt anyone. Causing me to develop a passive personality. But yeah…every day is a new day.

    Liked by 1 person

    • tpcsufian · June 1, 2015

      It seems like your medication overcorrected you. Lol its funny how life yearns for moderation.

      Like

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