Another’s Perception

Good afternoon, my resilient fallen angels! Today I’m going to discuss the concept of differing perception. What may seem like a huge deal to you may not have any effect on someone else. Dating is a easily explainable example. Love is blind. You might be dating someone, putting them on a metaphorical pedestal for all the world to acknowledge. Little you may know, however, this same person you have such high hopes for is not as angelic as they may seem. Friends and family are constantly telling you that he’s not good for you or that it would be best to break things off before it’s too late. “Before it’s too late…” What does that even mean? They see him for what he truly is, someone less than worthy, someone not meant to stay for long. A side character that an author would eventually kill off. But the praise you give him clouds your judgment. Who knows? Maybe your loved ones are wrong about him. They don’t know him like you do. Perhaps they are jealous and are attempting to sabotage your relationship. Maybe he is an angel sent from Heaven to save you from yourself. I’m speaking facetiously, of course. No human being deserves to be on that pedestal that you have constructed to be so sturdy and so supportive of the great weight he places on your shoulders every waking moment of your life. I might have gotten on a tangent just now, but my point is that any aspect of life you can think of can be viewed in many ways. Besides love, differing perception plays a starring role in anything. Recently, I did something embarrassing in the presence of my family. The event replays in my mind on repeat. Little did I know that when I slipped it into a conversation with my brother, I realize he forgot it ever happened. Something that you obsess over may not even phase anyone else. Because he forgot what happened, that means that it was not a significant enough memory to store in his mind. I’m taking a course in Psychology this semester. I’m starting to think I should major in psychology. Matters of the mind are so intriguing to me. Open your mind and acknowledge that there are many sides to a story, an object, an event, a person. Don’t ever don the qualities of a narcissist because you inevitably close your mind from ever realizing that you can learn something new from anything you think you fully understand. Or that you have flaws you need to work on improving. Take constructive criticism into consideration rather than taking offense to it. Walk in your enemy’s shoes or even your most closest friend. Try to contemplate how others see the world. Have a wonderful day! Over and out.

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Happy Birthday to me!

Hello my fallen angels! Today marks 21 years since the world was blessed with my birth. I feel spectacular! Single and proud. It sucks that it falls on a Wednesday this year but that is not going to stop me from celebrating! 😉 have a wonderful day, my beautiful fallen angels! Over and out.
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(I am blessed. I may not be prestigious quite yet but I strive for the fame and the recognition I deserve. <3)

A well-deserved lazy day

Good morning to my fallen angels! How was your weekend? So in my weekly schedule, I am always able to relax on Mondays. Mondays are the only days of the week that I’m not in class or working out or going to church. The weather outside is delightful. These nice days are hard to come by in New England. I’m glad winter is no longer keeping spring hostage. I hate winter. The snow, the holidays, the spoiled children… I am a real life Grinch. Lol. I peer outside my window to see vibrant flowers finally regrowing in the park in my backyard. The birds are chirping. I’ll take that than my annoying alarm clock any day of the week. The air is still as if the day refused to start so soon. I live alone so I don’t have to worry about roommates or anyone else waking me up. I count my blessings and I am so grateful for everything I have in my name. I reflect on my life to acknowledge how far I have come. I am loved by friends and family that I have reconnected with recently. I am single now. I’m surprised I am not crying over my ex since I refused his offer to rekindle a dead romance. I am okay. I am a strong, independent young man who has his whole life ahead of him. It would have been tragic to allow my ex to render me from ever finding new love someday. I am in no rush to start dating or anything. My birthday is coming up! I must always remember this relief whenever I do ever miss my ex. I gaze at the sun rise and wonder what new adventures await me in the hours, the days, the years to come. I hope at least one of you reading this feel the same way I do: contempt and at ease. Well have a wonderful day! Over and out.

“Is there a church membership?”

Hello again! Right after I added a new post this morning, I went to church for the first time in my life. I decided that I need a nearby church I can attend regularly every Sunday. I believe in God and pray every night before I go to bed. However, I felt I surpassed the maturity level to take religion and spirituality more seriously. I decided to be a Christian and open my heart to The Lord, The Son, and The Holy Spirit. I walked into my local church, completely clueless as to what to do once I stepped foot in there. The people there greeted me with open arms. They were so accepting and genuine. I wasn’t used to that. People usually are oblivious to my presense and I have come across so many who were negative, godless, and evil. I was brought up in a muslim family who hated gays and anything else that didn’t pertain to the Islamic faith. My mother was miserable and so negative though. I never thought she was a real muslim at all. But now that I am grown and out there on my own, I realized I can pick any religion I want. I was so lost and confused that I even asked the priest if there was a sign up sheet to get a membership to the church. He told me, “Of course not. You can just show up. It was a pleasure meeting you and I can’t wait to see you next Sunday.” No one has ever been that nice to me without wanting something in return. I feel blessed. And just a sidenote to my fallen angels, I call you all my fallen angels the same way Lady Gaga calls her fans her little monsters. It’s just for fun. I am not evil or anything. I hope you all know that. Thank you for always staying up to date with my posts. Have a wonderful day! Over and out.

Lotus, an album’s review

Hello my fallen angels! This time I will be talking about Christina Aguilera’s latest album: Lotus. When it first came out, I didn’t think much about it. I thought Bionic was her best album. But at that point in my life, I wasn’t ready for Lotus. You see, Bionic explored a more sexier, dominatrix side to Christina. I related more to that as a teenager. I was still getting used to being out of the closet and I needed to feel sexy because I used to have low self-esteem. Now at this point in my life, I have conquered so much and gained a lot of personal growth. Lotus was a step up from Bionic. Lotus reflects on Christina’s own personal growth. And that was why I used to disregard Lotus. I simply didn’t relate to it before because I wasn’t hopeful and I didn’t believe in God. But now I do. Now I can interpret the feeling of rising from the ashes and shedding my skin to leave the past behind. No longer a frightened little boy. Now I embrace the man I have become. Bionic symbolized exploring oneself and trying new things. Lotus represents becoming a full-fledged man or woman and learning to love yourself enough to let go of the past. I’m ready to delve into Lotus’ core theme of rebirth. It is a beautiful thing to seek penance and to let things go. Christina Aguilera’s transition from Bionic to Lotus is a monumental example of personal growth. Resilience will better help you to appreciate the state of mind pertaining to Lotus. If you’re not ready to be reborn, then continue to find yourself and learn to realize that there is no need to be so quick to anger. Music is powerful. Music is life. Have a wonderful day, my fallen angels! Over and out.

My rage fuels me

Welcome, my fallen angels, to yet another update from The Arcangel himself. (I spell it without the “h” because that would make me look officially evil.) Today I’m pissed. After months and months of separation and after the emotional roller-coaster ride he put me through, my ex wants to get back together again. He says that he wants to start things from scratch. That he wants to revive the same feelings of when we first started dating. Relationships don’t work that way! You can’t just start over and make it new again. Just like you can’t perfectly piece together a broken mirror as if destruction was never left behind in its wake. My ex is insane if he thinks that after he negated me from my responsibilities, isolated me from the ones I truly love, and led me astray from God Himself – that I would just go right back to that devil’s chaos. He’s paranoid, miserable, and condescending. Every word he says reminds me of all his red-flag flaws of his. I’m done with him for good. I cannot allow any leftover romantic feelings to make me crawl back to him ever again! This is a rare situation in my life where I must let my rage fuel me and prevent me from ever thinking that our murdered love can ever rise from the dead. Everything has been said and done. This is exhausting. I’m just trying to live my life the best I can but my ex is my downfall. He will be the death of me if I continue to pursue him the way I had in the past. He bums me out whenever he’s near me. He’s like a poison that forms callouses in my veins that dilute my bloodstream to terminal toxins. I forbid myself from sleeping with the devil ever again. He wants to meet me in person today for a date. I agreed but little does he know that I am going to take control of my life once more. He is going to tremble in the face of my rude awakening. Oh wow! This feels so good to vent! Wish me luck on concluding this nightmare once and for all! Have a wonderful day, my fallen angels! Over and out.

Penance through a dream

Several weeks ago, I had a dream about my ex. Don’t worry, I am not leading you through a detailed naughty, sexual anecdote. But rather that of a virtuous, vivid dream that helped me repent with a former flame. It started with a petty argument that resembled one of our many real-life feuds. Then he stops and he looks at me with those serious yet sympathetic eyes of his and says, “I miss taking care of you, I miss buying you things.” Fighting back tears, I reply, “I am not a child anymore. I am grown now. Treat me as an equal.” He closes in on me and says, “That’s ridiculous.” In the dream, mind you, I am going through the depression that accompanies a broken heart. Friends are slowly disappearing, bummed out by my helpless agony. I begin to heal at a very lucrative pace. The next scene shows me finally starting to get my life back on track. I have a job and I am interacting with a customer when my ex comes in post haste with a gun and starts shooting up the place. A co-worker ushers me towards a safe haven behind a dense collection of aisles. He eventually runs into me, as if he didn’t know that I would be there that day. It was that split second of hesitation that allows the cops a chance to bring him down. He looks at me as he lays dying with those sympathetic eyes of his and utters his last words, “will I become an angel?” I crawl beside his potential cadaver and hold his trembling hands. I nod in response to his interrogative. The only response I ever had that was true. I woke up in tears before my sister-in-law comes down the staircase to give me a heartwarming hug. I forgive him. That was the melancholy part of this story for I never thought I could forgive an ex without expecting anything in return. Have a wonderful day, my fallen angels. Penance is freedom. Over and out.

Young and Mysterious…

Hello to my fallen angels! And any new recruits, I might add. It’s funny how people perceive me in many different ways. Older men see me as “innocent, young, naive.” Older women see me as “adorable, young, naive.” Professionals see me as “vibrant, young, naive.” My peers see me as “emo, mysterious, lonely.” My loved ones see me as “strong, resilient, funny.” So my postulate is older strangers think I am a child while young adults my own age think I am a vampire. Only the ones closest to me are more near the target of who I truly am yet even they are not fully right. Who am I? Who are you? Why, as a society, why do we label each other to establish some fictitious place in the world? I may be mysterious to most but maybe it is because I do not divulge my past endeavors or my personal life to every person I come across just to add on to the imaginary order of things. I am entitled to my own self-worth and comparing myself to anyone else will not make me any better or any worse of a person in the grand scheme of things.

“Life is not measured in years but in how many lives we touch.”
– Peeta Mallark, Catching Fire.

So true, but drama composes of touching many lives… in a negative way. So what is better? Drama or discretion? So yeah, you can label me any way you want if that makes you feel good about yourself. But do not expect me to trust you then. Have a wonderful day! Over and out.