Non-Altruistic Fellatio

Did you wish you were never born, 

Swallowed before life insisted on you?

Did you not get enough attention growing up,

So you refused that right from others?

Did you stare into his eyes

As he fed you his nonexistent children?

Or did you close your eyes the whole time 

Consuming the undead while basking in your dark paradise?

Did you think depriving these children of their lives 

Saved them from their demise?

Did Utilitarianism ever cross your mind 

When you sucked him dry?

Did you know that he had a fatal disease

That was carried onto you?

Did you mean to sacrifice your life 

For the sake of the children?

The Void

A celestial prison

Held captive 

In the suffering

Of our own creation

Did God create us?

Or did we create the idea of Him?

When lust turns to dust 

and you realize 

just how big the Void is 

that you’re trying so hard to fill.

Did God create the Void?

Or did the Void give birth to God?

Taking the High Road

Dear Power Vamp,

        At this point in my life, the memory of you is a mere fleeting thought of something that once pained me so. I used to refer to you as a god, but now, I realize you are nothing more than a power vampire. You survive off of siphoning positive energy from good and trusting people. You cannot produce your own positive energy which is needed to live a happy life. By that logic, you needed me, or my kind, rather, not the other way around. And for that, I feel sorry for you. 


The One Who Got Away

Enamored Ghost

“​I have thwarted off evil many time before,

And I can’t build bridges from shore to shore,

I’m afraid we can’t see each other anymore,

I know you’re sorry but it’s either walls or a door,”

The memory of his words unearths my grave,

Setting free my tears that my heart has caged,

Like a ghost in the sheets,

A gaping mouth thrashing about in the night,

A force that must be contained,

Unruly is this juggernaut’s plight,

Present beyond life,

Beyond any means of control,

Persistent to alleviate some unfinished business,

Please reassure me that I’m not crazy.


Just maybe…

The voices in my head will agree with you.

The Week Before Valentine’s Day


For my Ethics course in college, my professor assigned me a few questions to answer before Valentine’s Day. The questions were: What is love? What is the nature of love? How do you know when you are in love? The following is my response:

I think love, at least romantic love, is underlined by reciprocation and compatibility. It’s a give and take. There’s a mutual understanding that both parties are human and desire many things including companionship, but it also opens one’s eyes to seeing that no one’s perfect. It’s the imperfections that we relate to and can empathize with. “Through sickness and health until death do you part…” It’s the highs and lows that any human relationship worth enduring and working on with the exception that many more emotional, physical, and mental boundaries are surpassed through time. Romantic love is the long-lasting effect after infatuation ends. It’s when the other person isn’t merely a flawless being you’re attracted to, but a vulnerable, flawed person you can share all your pain and joy with. The nature of love seems to be… natural. It happens automatically and then slowly as time goes by. The infatuation is just a way to be drawn in. When that ends and the mask comes off, it’s both parties’ choice to decide whether or not the flaws revealed are worth accepting. I know I’m in love with someone when I put their needs ahead of my own, when I think about them the moment I wake up all the way until the last thought of the day before slumber takes over me, when I am considerate of their feelings before I do or say anything whether they are around or not, when trust and respect becomes effortless to give and receive, when patience is easy to maintain whereas before it wasn’t, and when physical attraction is a pleasant preliminary to what lies within their very being.


You think I did a good job answering those questions? Are the questions assigned to me objective or subjective? Please comment your opinions below. Thank you for reading, my lovely fallen angels! Over and out.

We All Destroy Ourselves Eventually

“Trauma and its memories set on repeat,

Forget about God and admit defeat”

​I feel like there’s a void in my life that can’t be filled, 

No matter how hard I try.

I’m baffled by how little you mean to everyone else 

When you mean so much to me.

My aching heart needs you more than Heaven does

Yet you’re more afraid of a heart than you are of a gun.

It’s a cruel injustice to bare witness to the emotion you exude,

Knowing there’s absolutely nothing I can do to save you.

Forgive me for staring…

Forgive me for breathing…

Here I am; 

A constant manifestation of the anticipated “farewell”

I always blame myself for your own fatal inadequacies

For we all destroy ourselves eventually…

A Lonely Heart

Hello to my lonely fallen angels! I read Tanya’s poem a little while back, and I meant to post it a lot sooner. This poem resonated within me. I read it at least a dozen times. Check out Tanya’s post and feel free to indulge in her blog as well. Have a wonderful day! Over and out.


A lonely heart

Knows nothing more

Than the desire for a love that’s pure

A lonely heart

Is a selfish heart

It only knows its torn apart

To let the pain

Carry on too long

Refusing to hear another’s song

A lonely heart

Is a desperate heart

It holds onto its sorrow

Clinging only to tomorrow

That it is alone

Refusing to see

The soul that its attached to

Is worthy of its company

A lonely heart

Refuses to reach out

Expanding its loneliness

Those who love a lonely heart

Just can’t know where to start

It could be that alone

It is sure it has no home

There is no simple cure

Yet should the lonely heart endure

It will find the attention it desires

But it must pass through the fire

It can not wait for another

The lonely heart must discover

If only it could open up

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A Guarded Heart and Gentle Words

I’m on my knees,

You’re how I pray,

Begging you “please,

Just let me stay…”

It’s crazy how I’m always the one who initiates the conversation everyday. And when one day, I don’t begin the day’s discussion, he never even contacts me. If only he knew just how much the silence kills me. If only he knew how hard it is to wait for him to be ready like I am. If only he knew just how different and better I am than any other man he had been with. He would understand what he’s truly missing. A faithful and loving companion who would appreciate his masculinity, his compassion, his hardwork, his caution, his fear, his pain, his joy, and his time. He would find the greatest love of his life. Me.


Hello to my self-aware fallen angels! I came across this piece by Chris Nicolas recently. This passage really hit home for me. He said some very beautiful and positive things. So check out this reblog and feel free to delve deeper into his blog as well. Have a wonderful day! Over and out.

The Renegade Press

“A true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that is holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life.”

-Elizabeth Gilbert

I used to believe that I was a man who had been blessed with the gift of intellect. I spent years convinced that I was the smartest person in any room; often closing myself off from the opinions of others. I would gnash my teeth at the slightest hint of conflict, and reveled in my ability to push my own agendas onto others, whilst belittling theirs. Yet while I thought that I was a magnificent mind perpetually on the cusp of achieving great things, the truth is that I was a bit of a dick. I bruised egos, hurt feelings, and let down the people closest to me.

During these volatile years, I was tolerable at…

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